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Friday, November 2, 2012

Origins, 2 of 15: 'Needy Egg'

'Needy Egg' 20x10, Acrylics on Canvas
"Icanhas Compliments?"
We fish in life, all the time, for approval, validation... These and other concepts - confidence, value, belonging - float within the pond of consciousness.

I painted this at a time when I was so insecure, and perhaps for the first time in my life becoming aware of it. I began to realize how much better I felt about myself when others praised me; and how hollow and unimportant I felt otherwise.  I realized how lost I felt when making choices for myself; almost felt like it was an impossibility...  Realization led to frustration led to change, once I recognized the absurdity of  being incapable of trusting my own judgment and especially of perceiving myself as 'invisible' if someone wasn't watching; and approving!

Going from needing the validation of others, to perceiving it as gravy over my own self-value was a strange, difficult, but ultimately empowering transition.  And I've learned that, while blessed with an arsenal of amazing support from friends and family, mine is the only support I truly and fully need.  Without myself, supporting, embracing and loving ME, the goodwill of others falls short of making a true, lasting difference.

The simple message: Trust yourself; because you can.  And in the absence of company or opinions from others, you are at your most empowered to be precisely what you need; for you.